One of my favorite stories about the power of negative suggestion happened when my niece was 5 and playing with a dime. When her father said, “Jessica, don’t put the dime in your mouth, you’ll swallow it,” the dime was history and we were in the emergency room.

My granddaughter Isabel is my stepdaughter’s child, so I never experienced living with a two-year-old, especially in a situation where I was doing some of the parenting. When I teach parenting classes, I always feel a little sheepish, because it is much easier to teach the principles of good parenting than to live them. I have a great respect for parents hanging in there and doing what needs to be done for their kids. But when Isabel and her mother lived with me for two weeks, I got to walk the walk. And even though Isabel is younger than our clients, the principles of good parenting remain true, whatever the age of the child.

It is much easier to teach the principles of good parenting than to live them.

It was quite humbling to find myself doing things that I would caution a parent against. For example, I advise parents to acknowledge the child when they are doing behavior that you want to reinforce and to just give consequences with as little emotion as possible for behavior that you don’t want. And because I knew these principles, I was able to acknowledge Isabel when she did what I wanted. “You’re doing such a good job of sitting in your chair and eating your cereal.” Simple acknowledgment, making sure that she knew the specific behavior that I liked. With an older child it would go like this: “Johnny, I really like the way you are sitting at your desk and completing your arithmetic homework. Doing your homework will help you keep up with things at school.”

But when Isabel did something I didn’t like, things became much more “interesting,” especially when she was taking my vintage vinyl records off the shelves and playing with the knobs of my turntable. Here I also learned another valuable lesson. Kids, even toddlers, have radar for when you are tired or wanting to attend to something else, and this is the time they pick to act up, just to make sure that you’re still with them. You are their laboratory for learning about how the game of human relationships are played, and if you give them a big emotional response for behavior that you don’t want, even though you are telling them “no”, you are reinforcing that behavior.

All healthy children test the limits. With a seven year old, it could be doing things in slow motion when they are late for school. For a seventeen year old, it could be bringing home the car after curfew.

For a two year old, I tried to distract her with something else or tell her the behavior that I wanted her to do. “The turntable is Nana’s and it’s just for looking. Why don’t we play with your blocks over here?” For a seven year old it could be putting them on a point system and giving them extra points for getting ready on time or laying out their clothes the night before and reviewing what the morning routine will be like. For a seventeen year old it could be going over the responsibilities of using the car before they go out and giving them consequences for violating the rules. But going ballistic will either terrify the child so that they don’t feel safe exploring their environment, or, with a braver child, make the behavior that you don’t want more likely.

Another lesson that I learned is that when a child is tired, hungry or bored, those are the times that they are most likely to get into mischief.

It’s important to tell a child what you want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do, but it’s so much easier to say “don’t” or “no.” When you say “don’t do this”, you are giving them the subtle suggestion to do it. And they respond to you. This is why when you say “don’t put your cereal on the floor” rather than “I need you to keep your cereal in your bowl or in your mouth” you get more cereal all over the floor. For an older child it would be the difference between saying, “Johnny, stop slapping your brother,” instead of “Johnny, please keep your hands to yourself.” And of course if you had noticed Johnny and his brother when they were playing nicely and commented on that , it would have been all the better.

I also noticed how many times I ended my sentences with “OK?” as in “You can have a cookie when you finish your supper, OK?” When you do this, you are actually making the child the parent, because the child gets to decide whether things are ok or not.

But even as I watched myself making mistakes, I was grateful that I knew the principles of positive parenting, because at least I could correct myself and get the behavior that was not only good for me, but good for my granddaughter.

When Isabel stayed with me I realized how wonderful it is to be with a child and to get to look at the world through their eyes. But I also learned what an awesome responsibility and opportunity it is to teach them how to interact in the world. This is the struggle and the gift of every parent. And the job never ends.

One night when I told Isabel what a good job she was doing of sitting quietly on my bed and playing with her toy and how much I appreciated that behavior, I got rewarded. Isabel told me she loved me! These are the moments that make all the work, the aggravation and the yogurt rubbed into your glass table worthwhile.

By Ninah Kessler, LCSW
Life Coach

Think those memories destroyed by Alzheimer’s have been shattered, damaged and ruined? Think again. New research at M.I.T. has found that memories destroyed by Alzheimer’s disease and other kinds of dementia are still there, but cannot be accessed because of neural degeneration.

“The research raises the prospect that treatments for Alzheimer’s and similar conditions might eventually not only stop patients’ mental decline, but reverse damage that has already taken place.”

-From Times Online

The research of Li-Huei Tsai indicates that damage to the brain may be interfering with Alzheimer’s patients’ ability to retrieve and use their memories.

Dr Tsai said. “This recovery of long-term memory was really the most remarkable finding. It suggests that memories are not really erased in such disorders as Alzheimer’s, but that they are rendered inaccessible and can be recovered.”

Cognitive restructuring can enhance gains brought by new medications as well as natural remedies.

The scientists discovered that enriching the environment of the mice with treadmills for exercise and colorful toys of many different textures significantly improved learning and memory, and appeared to build new connections between nerve cells in the brain.

This research supports a basic premise of Sparks of Genius, where students young and old “work out” and use the power of brain training. We believe that cognitive restructuring can enhance gains brought by new medications as well as natural remedies.

Brain training leads to increased confidence, new abilities, and lays in mental strategies to neutralize the fear of decline. The 5-4-9 formula is customized for each student. http://sparksofgenius.com/sparks.html. You’re never too old to learn.
As we build the Sparks of Genius Community, more neuroscientists and neuropsychologists are echoing our theme of brain fitness, defying labels, and moving beyond limitations set by others.

Like Dr. Merzenich, who asks “Why not fix it before it breaks?” and Dr. Paul Nussbaum (download his pdf here) we believe that intensive brain training holds the promise of actually preventing changes that lead to the onset of Alzheimer’s and other dementias.

Of course, there is more to it than mental stimulation, such as exercising regularly, maintaining a sense of purpose, increasing spirituality, etc.  Check out Dr. Nussbaum’s 10 Tips here.

Incidentally, the M.I.T. scientists also got positive results giving mice a drug known as an HDAC inhibitor, which promotes nerve cell growth.

After receiving the environmental enrichment or the drug therapy, the M.I.T. mice recovered their lost memories. What would happen if they received both?

I agree with Dr. Michael Merzenich that an ideal drug would be a medication (or natural remedy) which would not only arrest cognitive decline but actually enable brain plasticity-driven rejuvenation.

Either way, many adults who “work out” at the Sparks of Genius Electronic Playground and at home can decrease, stop, or even reverse cognitive decline as they train their brain for daily successes.

– Dr. Rohn Kessler, Ed. D.

Even popular kids experience some feelings of exclusion and social clumsiness.  For a child with a Learning Disability (LD) or Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD, ADHD) or Asperger’s Syndrome, the social aspects of growing up are painful, embarrassing and often full of loneliness.  With the growth (real or illusionary) of school shootings like Columbine and Virginia Tech, the need to adequately socialize kids who live on the fringes of social networks has also exploded.

How can we help reach out to children who are lacking friends?   Here is some helpful information reported by our friends at LiveScience.com.

When a person feels authentic pride, he or she was more likely to score high on extraversion, agreeableness, genuine self-esteem and conscientiousness. Hubristic pride was most often linked with narcissism and shame.

Read the article here.

We as teachers and parents can capitalize on this information in two ways.  First, we can help a child avoid a potentially embarrassing situation.  Socially awkward kids possess few and weak social skills.  When they are having a bad day, don’t shove them into difficult (for them) social situations or force them to participate in group activities or play dates.  Since this is a challenging area for them, we need to build a track record of success and set them up for success by controlling some of the circumstances under which they interact with peers.

The second way we can use this information to help them make and keep friends is to build them up prior to an encounter.  On the way to the neighborhood birthday party, remind the child of their successes and accomplishments, and have them help you remember the things they are proud of.  The achievements can be social, or they can be academic, sports-related, or anything that helps them feel genuinely good.   Your child will feel better and perform better under social situations when they are feeling good–just like anyone else would!

What’s going to be the disease of my generation? I’m 64 years old, and many say it’s Alzheimer’s Disease. Scientists today are beginning to give mice the disease and then take it away. Believe it or not.

A recent New York Times article says that most biotechnology companies, large and small, are developing Alzheimer’s drugs. In the rat race to find a “cure,” these companies are investing billions of dollars to help more than five million Americans with the disease. The Times article notes this industry is “…often criticized as making pricey “me too” drugs that involve minor tweaks to competitors’ products.

Computerized cognitive training is very promising for fighting off Dementia.

Is there anything else in the works that can help adults with mild or moderate cognitive impairment that lead to dementia? Science shows computerized cognitive training is very promising.

Starting early with brain training before the disease progresses may delay onset and increase cognition Dr. Paul Nussbaum, believes that the physiological and psychological aspects of learning in childhood may act as a vaccine against Alzheimer’s and other neurodegenerative diseases of the brain. Link is: http://www.paulnussbaum.com/thhc.pdf

This is based on 1) the discovery of neuroplasticity (the brain is dynamic and constantly or-organizing itself) and 2) the fact that novel, rich, complex learning environments promote healthy changes in the physical structure of the brain.
At Sparks of Genius (www.sparksofgenius.com) adults with labels like “mild cognitive impairment” train their brain for daily successes on home computers and in our office.

Alzheimer’s strikes one out of every 5 people between ages 75 and 84.

We believe that cognitive restructuring can enhance gains bought by new medications as well as natural remedies. Brain training leads to increased confidence, ability and lays in mental strategies to neutralize the fear of decline.

Is Alzheimer’s generation going to be the disease of my generation? Perhaps. Alzheimer’s strikes one out of every 5 people between ages 75 and 84. Five million is projected to be ten or fifteen million in another 40 years.

Where is “the cure” for Alzheimer’s and other neurodegenerative diseases of the brain? I do not believe any “cure” will come from drugs alone; the problem is too multidimensional.

A holistic approach will work best, including exercise, mentally stimulating activities and computerized brain training. For more tips, go to (link is) http://www.paulnussbaum.com/tentips.html

To check out whether you or someone you love can benefit from cognitive restructuring and receive your FREE 39 point Learning Assessment. http://sparksofgenius.com/screens.html

Receive personal feedback from a Sparks of Genius professional today.

Research has shown that we can increase our ability to solve problems. Expand your way of looking at the problem by decreasing the restrictions so you can see it a new way.

Here is how.

Look from a different angle such as how would you see someone else dealing with the issue. Change the structure of your thinking.

For example suppose you were to consider how a man can marry ten women in one month? If you see him as a man this is a challenge but if you see him as a minister, rabbi. priest or imam who performed marriage ceremonies it all makes sense!

Life is like this too. Sometimes a solution is right there on the inside when you see things a different way.

The flexible can be bent but are difficult to break. We can see this by comparing a young branch to an old twig. Flexibility can be learned and practiced. Just do it!

Pay attention to error feedback—ours and other folks. It is OK to ask “How did I get this to work for me? and “What gave me the clue to solve the issue?”

For the memory or spatially impaired this means writing down what did not work and doing it another way next time. When you hit the jackpot and figure it out write down what worked. If you hate writing or typing, say it into any recording device.

–Dr. Amy Price

Self-Esteem is always a hot topic: what does it really do for people? How is it developed? Is it good to have a lot, or can you have too much? What effect does self-esteem have on school performance? It isn’t always easy to spot. Why?

“A given person with high implicit [or inner] self-esteem may be outwardly self-promoting or may be outwardly very modest,” said study team member Anthony Greenwald, a psychologist at the University of Washington.

Full Article Here

Low Self-Esteem is often confused with learned helplessness. Learned helplessness develops when a child is in school and has difficulty with, say, math. He struggles in math, possibly due to a weak teacher or just doesn’t have the same internal aptitude that others do. Maybe he was sick for a key week at school. For whatever reason, the child does poorly. Spurred on, the child decides to try his best for the next exam. Math being recursive, his lack of understanding of the prior material keeps him from really understanding the new stuff, and he gets a bad grade again even though he tried his hardest.

The child concludes, “I’m bad at math.” That is learned helplessness.

Contrast that experience with low self-esteem. A child goes to school and, despite good grades and many friends, feels like he or she isn’t any good in general.

Both conditions can lead to lack of effort in school and reduced performance, but one is based on a faulty conclusion drawn from real evidence while the other is a conclusion drawn despite external evidence (or due to internal evidence only).

The outward symptoms may look and sound the same, and the two issues are very similar, but they require a different touch to handle effectively.

This is where Sparks of Genius shines. What we do in our Electronic Playground is help children uncover hidden strengths, then we leverage those strengths to make improvements in other areas. How do we create total transformation? Through the 9-5-4 Program.

Even though there are 9 Intelligences, schools only care about one or two; Sparks of Genius taps into all 9.

• Verbal intelligence
• Mathematical intelligence
• Spatial intelligence
• Musical intelligence
• Kinesthetic intelligence
• Interpersonal intelligence
• Intrapersonal intelligence
• Spiritual intelligence
• Naturalist intelligence

Increase three or more [Cognitive Skills] and you’ve got a Total Transformation.

There are 5 Cognitive Skills. Increase one of these, and you increase cognitive ability. Increase three or more and you’ve got a Total Transformation.

• Attention
• Memory
• Learning
• Thinking
• Processing Speed

Finally, there are 4 Executive Functions. These are higher-order functions and essential for long-term success.

• Organization
• Planning
• Prioritizing
• Decision-Making

Students come to us, go through fancy, high-tech evaluations, and Dr. Kessler puts together a customized work-out regimen that plays on the student’s strengths and pumps up the areas that are weakest. 2-3 hours per week on a home computer, plus an hour in our high-tech, high-touch playground is usually all it takes. The results last, and they generalize to school, athletics, home, and the social realm.

Good luck!

Allen Dobkin

A new video game might prove to be a very productive use of time for young cancer patients: It helps kids fight their diseases figuratively and literally.The game, called “Re-mission,” is a 20-level journey through the bodies of fictional patients suffering from different types of cancer, and of course, it can be played by adults and healthy folks as well. But the primary idea is to give patients a sense of control over their disease.

Click here for article.

Children and adults around the world have embraced video games, with both positive and negative results. Here’s another shot in the arm for the folks who see video games as more than just an excuse to stay inside on a sunny day. Sparks of Genius uses video games as alternative therapy for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD or ADHD), Asperger’s Syndrome, Memory training, to fight off Cognitive Decline, and build any number of Cognitive Skills including executive function.

Click here to check out their new Summer Brain Training Boot Camp!

This article reprinted with permission from Rotten Apples: News from the front lines of America’s War on Education.

10 Steps to Argument-Free Homework

Get homework done quickly and efficiently without wearing out your vocal cords.

1. De-escalate.
2. Use positive reinforcement.
3. Express interest in homework, schoolwork and grades.
4. Treat homework time like it is a big deal.
5. Do your homework visibly.
6. Spend 15 minutes negotiating Homework Expectations.
7. Write down and post the Homework Expectations.
8. Give your child three free passes.
9. Reward a Perfect Homework Record.
10. Email the teachers!

What about kids with Learning Disabilities?

Challenged Children, those with any kind of learning disability, need the exact same treatment. They need all the rules, reminders and rewards even more! Don’t let their disability fool you: expect them to perform to their 100% capacity. If we settle for less, we do them a disservice.

-From www.whyschoolsux.com

Read the article here.

This is your brain on music.  Any questions?

Music is a universal language. Music has been recognized as a source of motivation, inspiration and guidance for thousands of years. Prophets of old would call for musicians as they sought to define the future. Musical groups were sent out first to prepare armies for war and to calm people for peace. It is used in restaurants to mold our eating habits. Opulent music in places of class and fast loud music to generate eating speed in fast food establishments. Music tells stories of love and of anarchy. Even with no lyrics our brains are hardwired to pick up the signals. Animals can be encouraged to perform better with the right music and plants listening to music grow and prosper.

It is no surprise that music can frame our minds to produce our future and increase learning capacity. Science is showing that music can be specially formulated to increase ability for motor skills, language skills and creative capacity. Take a look at this article by Advanced Brain Technology to see if music can be the next revolutionary in your life!

http://www.advancedbrain.com/Article_Spoonful_of_Music.asp

Dr Amy Price